Catching up

It has been a year since I last wrote here in my blog.. And I can't believe 2011 is almost over. There's a lot of catching up to do.. Hopefully, I get to tell you all the beautiful things that happened this year..

My Perfect Dream

I had a dream... everything was just perfect. The place, the feeling and the person. It was like we were a part of a movie and I wish it never ended.I never thought I would see my soulmate in my dreams.

He was just a normal guy, not astoundingly handsome, (but still goodlooking!) but he is different. He was a perfect gentleman, a man full of wit and intelligence, he had a very good sense of humor and the conversation we had is one that will always stick in my mind. I may sound crazy or desperate, and this dream may be a figment of my imagination but I felt it was real.

It was the first time I've seen him but it seems like we've known each other for so long. The first time he held my hand I knew right then and there that we had a connection.. that he is the One. I can't believe that I have never felt this extreme happiness just by dreaming of "him". Pathetic as this may seem but that is exactly how I felt. I just wish that dream never ended because it was only that time I felt complete just by being with "him".

But reality check, he is still a dream..a very nice dream! But, I'm still hoping and praying that this dream will be a reality, where he can find me and I will find him in that right place at the right time.. only God knows when.

And when that time comes..I will be completely happy and contented..

I believe in Miracles and I believe that Dreams really do come true!

The Kindness Chip

There are people who are not equipped to choose happiness, like they’ve never felt happiness in their previous lifetimes at all. They take pride in making other people’s lives miserable. That's where they find temporary excitement…empty…dark. They are to me, the saddest beings to ever walk the earth. Contantly misunderstood, always feeling like the victim .. never smiling…always angry…always hurting…inside… hating everyone and everything around them. They bite your hand when you try to reach out for them. Sometimes, they lure you into thinking they need your help until you’re trapped… tsk. tsk. tsk.

It is always a choice, like I keep saying. We can always choose to be happy. We can also choose to go the other direction, and be miserable like hell and you always get what you put out. Karma, good…bad…it all comes back to you, eventually. Which makes you wonder why some people choose to be angry, miserable, detached. I'm easily drawn to kindness and easily turned off by sour souls. But no matter how tempting, i don’t easily turn away. I try and try to see if they will ever find that kindness chip in them..which i believe, is basic to the human make-up. Even the psychologically challenged would still have that chip in them, corrupted.. but still in there. When people say or do mean things, it’s a reflection of how they really feel inside... rotten. And they need a lot more of your care and understanding than you can ever imagine. You won’t hear them ask for it but their anger is the loudest cry for help they can ever express.

Some of my friends think i’m being gullible and weak when i do this. I don’t know. But this i do know, i would want to be given the same amount of compassion, the benefit of the doubt, the trust that it is inherent in me to turn things around and redeem myself. I cannot expect people to react the same way i would. True. But i still really do believe that we all have it in us to choose to do good, to choose to be kind, to sincerely not want to hurt another human being’s person…another human being’s feelings…even when provoked.

I believe in the human spirit. I am a big fan of that too. And no matter how disappointing some people can be sometimes… we shouldn’t
lose hope and faith in and for them. Imagine how dark this world would become, if we all gave up on each other. You can call me a sap, a
push-over, a weak @#$&%!! but i choose to use the chip and be run over by a truck than refuse to use the chip and be the one driving
the truck… then again… maybe it’s just me.

Blessing in Disguise

Everything that is happening in this world.. in our lives.. has a purpose. Be it something good or bad. Most of the time when we encounter problems beyond our control, we tend to ask a lot of questions.. "Why is this happening?" "What went wrong?" "What caused the problem?" "Who made the mistake?". When these kind of questions run in our minds then sooner or later, we will keep on pointing fingers as to who is to blame.

Sometimes God uses these painful events.. inevitable circumstances to teach us something. God's purpose is not to hurt us, He wants us to learn to trust Him more on His plans for us. He wants us to let him take control of our lives and not the other way around.

I can say I have my sad and painful experiences too but I never blamed God for what happened. I know those were big problems but I believe I have a bigger God. I entrusted him everything even if I was hurting. I talked to Him everyday so I could let go of the pain, the disappointments , the anger and the loneliness. Days have passed and now, I have moved on and I am moving forward.

Just remember that the universe never willed our lives to be like hell. So, when a turning point seems terrible, later you would notice that a wonderful thing compensates for the seemingly hopeless incident. Very often then not our lives become better and things become blessings in disguise after all.

How To Be Alone

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis
If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there. There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke). And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places. And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals. The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone. Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone. When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community. And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings. Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay. It's okay if no one believes like you.

All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach. And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it. you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it If your heart is bleeding make the best of it There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

Negastar ka???

Bakit nga ba may taong nega??

Ano kaya nasa isipan nila? Sadyang malungkot lang ba sila sa buhay nila o ayaw lang nilang maging maligaya ang iba? Marami na akong nakilalang ganito.. Maraming "angst" sa buhay kung baga..minsan nakakainis na silang kausapin at kasama dahil puro reklamo na lang ang
naririnig mo sa kanila pati simpleng problema na madaling solusyunan, pinalalaki pa!! Kaya naman walang nakakatagal sa kanila. Ang bigat nilang kasama..

Masarap naman mabuhay.. Hindi naman natin kailangang gawing komplikado ang simple.. At lalong mas madaling ngumiti kesa sumimangot. Pero, dyan sila masaya.. Ang magkimkim ng galit, ang magbigay ng walang katapusang hinaing at mabuhay sa isang mundong feeling nila eh
pasan nila.

Basta ako, masaya ang mundo ko.. Masarap tumawa at kuntento ako mamuhay ng simple kahit kumplikado ang mundong ginagalawan ko.

Ikaw.. Nega ka ba??

CDO-Camiguin (June 20-23)

It has been a month now since my travel buddy, Len went to Cagayan de Oro and Camiguin. We booked this trip way back in March and got a good rate from Cebu Pacific. Imagine we had 4 months to prepare for the trip but we ended up doing it impromptu style.. as in no hotel reservation, no itinerary.. as in no plans at all. (Lakasan na lang ng loob!)

Our flight was almost cancelled due to radar problems at the airport, but still luck was on our side that our flight was only delayed for an hour. We got the first flight out of Manila and reached CDO around 6am. Since we don't have any hotel reservations,we checked out the brochures at the desk near the exit.. good thing medyo cheap ang hotel accomodations in CDO. When we got out of the airport, we were bombarded by taxi drivers asking us where we'll be heading to..para kaming nawawalang mga bata na di alam ang gagawin so we asked a police officer, he referred us to a driver who was so insistent in bringing us to Camiguin and asking for P2000 for the trip(haller! di naman kami ganun kagaga diba??) so I just told the driver to bring us to a nearby hotel (kahit di ko alam kung san yun, the first hotel poster that I saw dun kami nagpahatid..hehehe!) We checked in at Marigold Hotel, so we could still rest and make our itinerary for the whole trip. In fairness, for the price (P1200/night with free breakfast), sulit na rin!

Day 1:The first activity we did was to try the Water Rafting. At first, medyo hesitant pa kami to try it baka nga naman di kami magenjoy, buti na lang we changed our minds. It was one hell of an experience. I never thought na I would enjoy it.. as in!! Dapat pala nag-Advance na lang kami...ang lupit talaga!!! Now I understand why they say never to miss Water Rafting in CDO..3 hours experience... super worth it!

Day 2: Len and I decided to pack our bags and go to Camiguin. We took a shuttle(P100/person) to Balingoan Port and took a ferry bound to Camiguin Island which took around 1 hour. When we reached Camiguin, a group approached us asking if we are also interested with the tour. We are apprehensive at first since they are complete strangers but they were so nice. So we joined them for the tour (para makatipid na rin!) We met Allan, his wife, Joy and his best friend, Kuya Eric. Initially, they were only planning to go on day tour but when they saw Bahay-Bakasyunan where Len and I planned to check in, they fell in love instantly with the place and decided to stay overnight with us too.

After we've checked in our stuff. We went touring around Camiguin. First stop is the famous White Island. From Camiguin Island, we took a 10 minute boatride to the White Island (I think we paid Php500 for the boat to bring us there and take us back) .. It was heaven, Picture perfect and untouched.. Although, the sun didn't cooperate much, we still had a great time taking pictures and enjoyed the beach and the white sand. (Reminder: bring in lots of food and drinks because there is no store or restaurant in this secluded island)

Here are the places we were able to tour:

-White Island

-Vjandep Store- Home of the famous Pastel

-Guiob Church Ruins

-Sunken Cemetery

-Ardent Hot spring

-Walkway to the Volcano and Stations of the Cross

Day 3: Woke up at 8am and sinulit talaga namin ang pool then had a nice breakfast and left Camiguin around 12nn. Imagine yung group na kasama namin, they have a flight to catch at 5pm from CDO, we reached CDO mga 4pm and they still have to return to their house to pack up.. umabot naman daw sila.. as in last passengers to ride on the plane.. :)

Kami ni Len, checked in at Mallberry Suites in Limketkai Center (this is CDO's Makati Area). In fairness, with the price of the room, sulit naman kasi its really nice and clean. Then we tried the desserts in Candy's (super big chocolate truffle ice cream cake and the coffee cake)and had barbecue dinner somewhere(i forgot the name of the place).. and then spa after to cap our night.

Day 4: Bought our pasalubongs..Vjandep Pastel of course.. and prepared for our afternoon flight back to Manila.

It was really a nice experience kahit impromptu, coz we've met new friends along the way. This is one for the books, they say CDO is the City of Golden Friendship.. well , I guess its true.